Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, on the planet Nidirax, there dwelled an evil king, King Nardil, who was mighty pleased with himself, for he had just banished all the engineers on the planet to work in the Potty Seats Molding mines on the moons of Gluteus.
“You see,” he told his sycophantic servants and lackeys, “I have solved two problems with one simple executive order. I have rid the planet of those shit-annoying, nerdy, know-it-all, engineers. Hail Me!”
(King Nardil was actually quite envious of them, because he went to a Junior University in Ulti Alto, and didn’t know very much at all.)
“And secondly,” he explained, “I have provided cheap slave labor for the Potty Seats Molding mines, thus ensuring a limitless supply of those heavenly tooshie cushions for all to enjoy.”
All of King Nardil’s staff applauded loudly, because he tended to behead those who didn’t. “Bring us intoxicating chemicals, so that we may toast, Hail Me!” cheered the king.
“I’m sorry, your Highness King Nardil,” replied the servant. “You banished all the chemical engineers to the potty mines, so we cannot make the intoxicating chemicals anymore.”
King Nardil was quite raged. Nobody talked back to him and go away with it. “Bring me my AN-94 (Atomic Number) Phasor gun, so that I may vaporize this impudent guy,” shouted the raged king.
“I’m sorry, my good King Nardil,” replied another servant. “Since you deported all the nuclear engineers to the potty mines, we have been unable to operate the plutonium powered phasor gun.”
Now the king was really really angry. “I’m really mad!” said the king. “Bring me my Hummer H9.9, so that I may repeatedly run over these contumelious servants of mine.”
“Your Majesty, with all respect that too cannot be done,” said the third servant, whose part will be played in the movie version by Wentworth Miller, from the Prison Break fame. “All the mechanical engineers are in the mine place, and everyone knows, you can’t drive cars without mechanics.”
“Go! jump off a bridge you scums!” yelled King Nardil. To this, another of his servants interrupted, “We have no more bridges, since all the civil engineers have been exiled to the potty mines. Perhaps we should bring them all back.”
But the King was not the brightest of kings, so he didn’t agree to that just yet. “Bring me my EPPE (electric pulsating pleasure equipment), so that I may relax and think about this dilemma of ours,” ordered the king.
“We are unable to do that, my King Nardil, because all the electrical engineers who design the Eppes are in the potty mines.”
“Hmmm,” thought the king. “Perhaps I was wrong in banishing the engineers from my planet. Without them, we have no intoxicating chemicals, no plutonium powered phasor guns, no automobiles, no bridges, and no pulsating pleasure devices. I will have to call them back from the potty mines of Gluteus.”
But it was too late, because the engineers so enjoyed having free time that every last one refused to return, as their uncompromising ego got hurt due to banishment. They enjoyed their time in investing their minds in newer and fancier technologies and the whiffy clan savoured the luxurious technologies that King Nardil couldn’t even fantasize in his wildest dreams!
Soon the moons of Gluteus become the talk of the galaxy as the most techno-advanced heavenly bodies anyone had ever known and everyone started applying for immigration there. Needless to say, most of the applicants were from the planet Nidirax! 🙂
So the moral of the story, Earthlings of the useless planet, is that engineers are a very important part of your everyday lives, and engineers although stinky and dirty like rotten fish, you should not banish them to slave potty camps. 🙂
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